Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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