remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
