Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
