Buhtt sex?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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