is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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