Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
