Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
