I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
