96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
