I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
