Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
