and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
