I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
