he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
