she was so not down for the gang bang
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
