Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
