she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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