Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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