I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
