I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
