kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
