This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
