WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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