You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
