I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
