I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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