5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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