first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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