make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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