I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
