Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
