Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
