I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
