I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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