Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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