It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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