her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
