Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize