he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
