In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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