why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
