in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
