So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
