lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
