Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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