he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
