I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i now understand why vodka
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
