Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
