I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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