either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
