Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
