Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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