: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
